


Barry, Please Don't Kill Me

by CalJordan



Category: Green Lantern - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Dialogue-Only, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 15:32:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalJordan/pseuds/CalJordan
Summary: Hal comes back from space and calls Barry with some news. Barry isn't amused





	Barry, Please Don't Kill Me

**Author's Note:**

> [Based on:](https://itsonlyjustanotherfanboy.tumblr.com/post/177555237824/ryannightnightbergara-if-the-next-big-fanfic) if the next big fanfic trope isn’t ‘we had a maybe-fake-maybe-not marriage 26 years ago and i just realized that we never bothered to check if it was legally binding i'm suing all of you
> 
> This can be seen as pre-slash or simply purely platonic

Barry hadn’t noticed the time. He was deep in cold cases he had brought home. It was only when the phone rang that he got back to reality.

 

“Hello. Who am I speaking to?”

 

“Barry. It’s me” The voice on the phone was rushed, emoting urgency.

 

“Hey Hal, you’re back from OA already? How have you’ve been” Barry replied in a calm, collected manner that contrasted with the way Hal had spoken.

 

“Barry..”  Hal sounded even more desperate

 

“Hal, is something wrong?”

 

“Don’t hate me, Barry, please.”

 

“What did you do?” Barry asked, his voice full of dread.

 

“I found out that maybe _youandmearemarried_ ” Hal said the last part fast, forgetting that Barry could simply tap into the speed force and understand what he was saying.

 

“What did you say?” Barry almost yelled out of exasperation.

 

“I said that you and-” Hal started, but was cut off by Barry.

 

“I know what you said. I’m just having a hard time understanding the how."

 

“Remember when you came with me on Xloritz?”

 

“Yes?"

 

“And how when had to dive into the red gooey sea?”

 

“Yes, but where is this heading?”

 

“Well, I was recently informed by Kilowog that it is a ceremony used to perform that planet’s equivalence to marriage.”

 

“It’s not like it’s legally binding on Earth. I think we’re fine. We can even laugh about this one day.”

 

“Barry, I wouldn’t have called you if it were just that. I would have found a way to forget about it and in the process, I would have had a very hard time looking at you in the eyes. For a while at least.”

 

“Hal, just tell me already.” Barry was more than annoyed. He really hoped Hal wasn’t wasting his time because he was bored.

 

“The process we went through isn't just a legal or cultural ceremony. I can’t really explain the how… If it’s magic or alien science. Personally, it's the same thing for me. But it’s something that actually binds a couple together.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“When a couple is submerged, their souls are merged to become one."

 

“Hal, are you saying that we’re soulbonded? Really? Is there anything we can do about it? Maybe we can go to the league and ask for some help in finding a solution.” Barry was doing his best to appear calm, but the truth was that his brain was already channelling the speed force, going through multiple scenarios, trying to find a solution.

 

"Barry, if we could have done something about it, I would have opened with 'It's kind of a funny story, but you don't have to worry about it at all' instead of 'Please don't kill me'. But no, I went back to Xloritz and I asked the ancient ones. I also asked the Guardians. And I even went to J'onn, who went inside my mind. You know what he said?"

 

"What did he say?" Barry humoured Hal, although he could have easily guessed what the Martian had said.

 

"He said that he couldn't say which part of the soul was mine and which was yours anymore. That trying to sever the bond could kill us both. So basically, we're stuck together until one of us dies. With our jobs, that could be until tomorrow, or for the rest of eternity. I guess those aliens really believe in ' _'till death do us part'_."

 

"So that's it, uh, we're soulbonded for the rest of our lives?" It felt weird coming out of his mouth. It didn't feel real yet.

 

"At least you're stuck with your best friend." He reminded Barry.

 

"Of all people, I'm stuck with the most willful, yet most reckless _soul_ in the entire universe."

 

"You love me, anyways" Hal teased.

 

"You know I do, buddy, you know I do."


End file.
